Santana Lopez Is No Coward
by HeyIt'sLuna
Summary: Santana Lopez has been in the closet for years, but when her friend, Finn, outs her she has to accept the truth. Santana Lopez was in love with her best friend, Brittany.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey Santana, why don't you just come out of the closet?_

The words haunted her. The other day, Santana Lopez had been outed.

She was no longer in the closet, in fact, she was nowhere even near it!

There was a commercial airing that will tell all of Lima Ohio that Santana Lopez loves girls. And Santana simply wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to tell her whole family that she's in love with Brittany S. Pierce, the girl who Santana had befriended years ago. All of it was a lie. They were not meant to be friends. They were meant to be lovers.

She was lying in bed, tears streaming down her face, nose red, and her heart beating faster than ever. Because she had her earbuds blaring sad music into her ears she did not hear her mother walk into her room.

"_Santana?"_ Her mother asked worriedly. There was no reply.

"_Santana?!"_ Her mother pulled the blanket off.

"Go away." She wasn't in the mood to talk right now. She just wanted to lie in bed all day. And she especially wasn't in the mood to go to school.

"_Get up, you have to get ready for school. I'm making pancakes." _

Her mother exited the room. Santana didn't want to get ready. She didn't want to eat pancakes. She wasn't hungry at all, in fact, she was sick to her stomach.

But Santana knew that she had to prove Finn wrong. She had to prove that Santana Lopez was a lot of things, but a coward is not one of them.

So she put on her Cheerios uniform, tied her long brown hair up into a ponytail, put on her makeup, grabbed a granola bar, and was on her way. She was not about to let this ruin her life. She was in charge. She was ready. She was no coward.

She pushed the doors open and entered the highschool.

Everybody was staring at her. She felt trapped, alone, powerless, and scared. But she thought to herself "I_'m Santana Lopez and I'm no coward."_

The sentence alone empowered her. She was ready to face her fears. She was ready to take charge. She walked through the hallways with her head up high and her hands on her hips. She felt powerful, that is until a red slushie made its way onto her face and uniform. Everyone was laughing at her. She felt defeated. Just when she couldn't take it any longer, Brittany ran to her, grabbed her arm and brought her to the girl's bathroom. Rachel, Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes came into the bathroom and helped clean Santana up.

"_What happened?!_" Rachel asked while taking chunks of slushie out of Santana's hair.

"_Are you okay?_" Quinn added while cleaning Santana's face of slushie residue.

Santana remained silent. She was embarrassed. She used to be one of the head bitches around here, but ever since she joined Glee club she was a joke.

She was in the Trouble Tones now but it wasn't the same. Sure, she loved getting all the solos and being the center of attention but it wasn't fun. Even though she loved to tease everyone in the New Directions she missed them all terribly. She missed the group numbers, the celebrations when they won, and the pre show pep talk Mr. Shue gave them. She misses being in a club where it's all about acceptance.

"_Hello? Santana, you there?"_

Santana snapped back into reality. Mercedes was waving her hand in front of Santana's face. "Sorry, what?" Santana asked.

"_Never mind…" _Mercedes said while dumping all the towels on the floor.

Santana hated not being popular. But she also hated not being in the glee club. She was confused. She was weak. She was done.

Santana went to class and learned absolutely nothing because the whole time she was thinking about Brittany. Santana couldn't help but love her. She was everything Santana ever wanted to be. Pretty, positive, likable, friendly, and popular.

Santana couldn't help but be a love sick puppy, and she was disgusted by it. Santana and Brittany used to mock all the girls who were love sick and obsessed with their crushes, but now Santana is turning into one of them. She needed to put it to an end. She needed to get the old Santana Lopez back, the one who didn't give an eff. So she walked to the cafeteria bought a slushie and threw it in Rachel's face. As soon as she did it she regretted it. But as much as she regretted it she also liked it. She felt powerful and like a full on bad ass. And that's when Finn came in.

_"What are you doing!?" Finn said loudly._

"Listen, Hudson. I'm just giving your dwarf of a girlfriend a little taste of what she deserves, so back off."

_"Santana, I get it. I hurt you, I outed you out of the closet when you weren't ready. But that's my fault not Rachel's. So you need to take all of your anger and leave."_

Santana fell silent. He was right. It was time she leaved. She picked up her backpack and walked home. Her parents were at work so she went to her bedroom, lied on the bed, and cried. The tears kept coming. They wouldn't stop. She soon cried herself to sleep. The last thought she had before drifting into a deep sleep was

"_I'm Santana Lopez and I'm no coward."_


	2. Chapter 2

Santana woke up an hour later to the dogs barking. She tried to ignore them but they wouldn't stop. She got out of bed and went to see what was going on. There was a car outside their house. It was unfamiliar, she hurried and locked the doors. She spent a while looking out the window trying to figure out who was in the car. When she finally realized no one was in there she figured there was a party going on and there wasn't enough parking space. She went back into her room and got on her laptop. 

While watching a movie on Netflix she saw someone in the corner of her eye outside her window.

Santana has had guys camp outside her window hoping for the moment when she undresses. But this felt different. She walked outside to see what's the matter and she saw a bunch of guys spray painting something on the garage door. When she yelled at them "What are you guys doing!?" they ran into their car and drove away. When Santana went to see what they spray painted she was shocked. In big bold blue letters across the garage door read the word DYKE. Santana wanted to cry. All she thought was "How am I going to hide this from my parents?!"

And the thing is she couldn't. Whether she likes it or not Santana would have to come out to her parents.

Santana had pulled the garage door up in hopes to hide it from them a little bit longer.

Later that evening when her parents arrived back home. Her parents walked through the door and saw Santana sitting on the couch looking nervous.

"_Sweetie what's wrong?" _ Her mother asked.

_"Is everything alright?" ___Her father chimed in.

"I need to tell you guys something." Santana said. He hands were shaking.

"_You're not pregnant are you?!" _Her parents said at the same time_. _

"No, I'm not pregnant! But I am..."

"_You're what?" _Her father asked.

"I'm gay." Santana said quickly hoping they wouldn't understand what she's saying.

Her parents started to laugh.

"_Thank goodness! I was starting to worry it was something serious."_ Her mother said relieved.

"Wait, what?" Santana was confused

"_You thought we didn't know? Sweetie, you dressed up as Uncle Jessie for Halloween. And no offence but you and Brittany weren't that quite. We could hear everything." _

"What? Wait, when you say everything you mean everything?"

"_Yep." _Her parents laughed.

Santana was embarrassed and relieved at the same time. She just wished the rest of the world reacted the same way as they did. Now it was time she told her grandmother. She left that night to go tell her.

When she came back home crying her parents knew her grandmother had not reacted the same way as they did. "She hates me!" Santana cried.

"_Sweetie, she doesn't hate you. She just isn't as open minded as we are." _Her dad told her.

"_She'll come around." _Her mother insured her.

But Santana wasn't convinced. She knew she wasn't going to come around. She knew that her grandmother will never accept her again. And she knew she wouldn't want to ever see her again. Santana couldn't believe how close minded people were. She was disgusted. As much as Santana loved her grandmother, she knew she didn't want to spend the rest of her life begging for her grandmother's forgiveness even though she did nothing wrong. Santana was done hanging around people who won't accept her for who she was.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the weekend so Santana didn't have to deal with going to school. The commercial aired last night around 8:00 pm. It was hell to say the least. Santana has always loved getting attention but now she's tired of it. She's tired of all the close minded people asking her how it feels to know she's going to hell. She's tired of the immature guys asking if they can watch Brittany and her make out. But the thing is, with all of this coming out crap that's been happening Santana hasn't talked to Brittany much. So Santana decided to call her.

_"Hello?"_ Brittany answered.

"Britt Britt! It's me, Tana. I just wanted to see how you're doing." Santana said.

"_Oh." _Brittany replied.

"Listen Britt, I never meant for this to happen." Santana said.

"I just wanted to let you kno—" Santana said before getting cut off.

_"I'm so sorry, Tana. But we were a mistake. I know that now." _Brittany interrupted.

_ "I've got to go." _Brittany said and then immediately hung up.

"What just happened" Santana thought to herself.

Santana's always been able to count on Brittany until now. She thought what they had was real. She was wrong.

No it was real. It was as real as it gets. At least it was for her.

Without Brittany, Santana is just another teenager who is confused with her sexuality. But Santana knew just what to do, experiment. She put on her short red dress and paired it with her favorite heals and was ready to go. As she walks out the door her she thinks

"Lesbian bar here I come!"

Santana arrives at this magical place. She's never been in a real bar before, let alone a gay one! She walks around hoping to catch someone's eye. And she does. A tall girl with black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes walks up to her.

"_Can I get you something?" The mysterious girl asks._

"Play it cool Santana, play it cool." Santana thinks to herself.

"Just your digits." Santana says in a husky voice.

"Just your digits, Santana? Really?" Santana thinks to herself.

"_How bout I get you a drink first. What do you want?" The girl asks._

"Surprise me." Santana says in a sexy voice.

The mystery girl walks over to the bar and orders the drinks.

She walks back with her hips swaying from side to side.

"_I hope you like martinis._" The girl says while handing the drink to Santana.

Santana smiles and takes a sip of the drink.

"What's your name?" Santana asks.

_"Violet, you?" _Violet says.

"Santana." Santana says.

"_Well, Santana, about those digits." _Violets says and then writes her number on Santana's hand.

Santana doesn't know what to do. She's nervous. This is the part in the movie where they kiss and then go to the bathroom and make out. But this isn't a movie, this is real life.

"Do it Santana. What are you waiting for? You're not a coward, remember?" Santana thinks to herself then pulls Violet into a kiss.

The next thing she remembers is waking up in Violet's bed with Violet next to her.

Santana quietly gets out of the bed. She's just wearing her bra and underwear. She finds her clothes and gets out of there. She gets on a bus and goes back home to Lima Heights Adjacent. When she gets back home her parents are sitting on the couch. Her mom is crying and her dad is looking worried.

"What's wrong?" Santana asks.

Her parents look up at her.

_"Where the hell have you been?" _Her mother asks angrily.

"_You are in serious trouble, young lady!" _Her dad says.

"I'm so sorry! I needed some time out the house. I stayed at Laura's. I'm so sorry!" Santana says.

_ "Next time you need a little "time out" tell us!" _Her mother said.

"_Now go up to your room." _Her father tells her.

Santana heads upstairs. When she gets up to her room she changes out of her clothes and puts on something comfy. She felt guilty. Sure, Santana has had one night stands before, but this time it was with a complete stranger. Normally it's with some guy from school. But this time Santana had no idea how old this person is, if they are single, if they have an STD, or anything like that. Santana felt ashamed. Only If Brittany was there to make her feel better. But Santana shouldn't have to rely on Brittany to make her feel better. She is an independent woman and she doesn't need any man or woman to make her feel better. Why? Because she's Santana Lopez and she's no coward.


	4. Chapter 4

It was Monday, Santana was in her Cheerios uniform and was ready to go. She missed her friends. Even though she doubts they missed her. She knows she was a bitch last Friday, she just hopes they understand she's been going through a tough time. She made a decision last night, she's going to ask to join the New Directions. She needs to feel accepted again. So when she gets to school she will go and ask Mr. Shue.

It's time. Santana was on her way to the choir room, hoping Mr. Shue would be there. When she entered the choir room she saw something, Brittany and Sam kissing. She was disgusted. She ran away before they saw her.

There's no way she's going to join the New Directions if Brittany and Sam are together. She doesn't need to feel accepted. She's fine on her own. She's Santana Lopez, she doesn't need a shoulder to cry on.

It was time for lunch, Santana was starving. She hadn't eaten a lot lately. She's been distracted with everything that's going on. Santana sat by herself. She didn't mind it though. She found it peaceful. She started thinking, thinking about Brittany.

"What does Sam have that I don't?" She'd think.

Lunch was over, time for Science. They supposedly had a new teacher. Some girl they probably hired off the streets. The school wasn't rich, they constantly were hiring people who don't even want to teach. But who could blame them? Who wants to teach a bunch of cocky high schoolers? Not me.

When Santana got to Science class she sat down. The teacher wasn't there yet. The worst part of Science class is that Brittany had a seat right next to Santana.

When the teacher arrived Santana was shocked, the new Science teacher was Violet, the girl from the bar who Santana slept with. She was in big trouble.

Santana spent the whole class looking at her notes, hoping Violet wouldn't recognize her.

Once the bell rang Santana grabbed her bags and left. She somehow made it through the day without getting a slushie in her face.

When she got home her parents were taking a nap. She went up to her room and changed. She decided to watch something on Netflix. While watching the last episode of Breaking Bad she got a phone call, it was from Violet. "Damn it." Santana thought. She just ignored the call.

That is until Violet kept calling and wouldn't stop.

Santana finally answered.

"What do you want?" Santana said

_ "Listen, Santana. I didn't know you were underage. If I did I never would've slept with you or bought you a drink. I hope we can keep this a secret. I could go to jail for having sex with a minor." _Violet said.

"Look, I get it. You need me to keep this a secret. But what's in it for me?" Santana asked.

_ "What do you want? 100 dollars? More?" _Violet replied.

"No money, just A+'s on all my assignments, tests, or anything else. Sound like a plan?" Santana said.

_ "That's against my job!" _Violet said.

"Yeah? Well, having sex with a minor is against the law. I'm pretty sure you'd rather lose your job than go to jail." Santana replied.

She hung up before giving Violet a chance to reply. Santana felt powerful, in charge, badass, and she felt like a boss. She was getting back to her old self, finally. She missed her old, badass self. She missed being the head bitch. She was ready to come back to her old ways. Because

_Santana Lopez Is no coward. _


End file.
